gachunia

I participated in a global project of Focus in patnership with the Intervasity Fellowship from the USA.

It was one of the cool evenings in mombasa.After a long hot day of sun bathing.The sun went down and we as usual assembled for an evening worship by the beach in Africana hotel.

I had not seen something so beutiful before.Clear blue sky full of stars!

Great worship in great company.That day the guy who led worship is a mexican.He is so amazing in guitar and lets all his emotions flow in worship.We sang a mix of American worship and a couple of spanish songs.It was to me a piece of what to expect someday.People of all colours and races together in worship.

Slowly after worship all the people left and i was left staring at the beach.Lost in thought and amazement of God's grandeur.

The lights from the hotel lit up the front part of the beach.The white sands reflected the lights in a shiny way.As you progress near the waters the lights the were dim and the shadows a bit hazy.

The sounds of the waves roaring infront of me captured my attention.The wet sand beneath my feet and between my toes soothed me to lostness.The imagination of the depth before me sore my spirits to unknown heights!

It seemed to me that God has given me so much opportunity to enjoy his goodness.I questioned him that i really don't deserve what he is offering to me.That grabbed me to prayer and i really enjoyed asking God questions and shutting up to reflect on his opinions.

It seemed to me that God was asking me to take a break from so much work and business and enjoy being his son without necessarily feeling the demand to do anything.

For long i related with God in his service.My fulfilment came when i spent the last ounce of my energy in his service.Being leader of my christian union i had the chance to do so.I chaired a board that was rensponsible for 105 leaders and 1500 members.

One day i left the meeting at around 12 am.I had held conversations with so many people that i had lost count.I had listened to so many persons.Being on spot and so much required of me.I got to my room and all i wanted was to get to my blankets and hide from the world.I felt depleted and lost in service.I needed a hand on my shoulders to tell me that am not crazy.My friends tried but it didn't work.

Reading Henri Nouwen's prodigal son.I felt like one who needs an embrace from the Father himself.A shelter that lasts.A soothing unknown by men .A desire to be craddled like a baby on it's mothers bossom.A desire to be home without demands on me.

This very night at the beach i recounted this experience and i felt God put his mighty hand on my shoulders and say to me REST.I shed tears at God's amazing love to me through friends.

I went to bed feeling loved and cared for.I knew that all those days i laboured in the christian union God was with me and upheld me so close.It was such a boost to my energy for service.

If you have read so far i know God has such a big plan to boost your enegy levels in service.He is so in love with you.Watching every step you move.I wish you may sense his hand upon you.Job 36:7 He withdraws not his eyes...OOh so refreshing isn't it?

Oh can you feel the wind in your hair!

It's all so white and great when you can balance on your skiis .When you fall it doesn't hurt but freezes cold.

Oh yeah i feel the wind in my hair before the snow on my face.

It was fun being the only guys from the tropics in this skiing center.I felt like writing a poster on my back the first day.If i fall don't laugh i wasn't born with skiis like you.In Kenya we run marathon and jump steeple chase.

On the snow i guess isaac would say we are at the shallow edge of the gene pool.

Oh but it's lovely when you can cruise at a high speed knowing when you crash you will land on some soft white snow!

The leaves loose its summer green and it's covered by a funerial brown.As  the leaves drop one by one the irregularities and defects of the tree are exposed.

They have been there of course but now they are being exposed.It becomes denuded and desolate i can see its real condition.

Winter preserves  and strengthens a tree Rather than expending its strength on the exterior surface,its sap is forced deeper and deeper in the interior depth.

In winter a tougher more resilient life is established.it is necessarily for the tree to survive and flourish.

 Often we hide our true conditon with our surface virtues full of activity, but once the leaves of our frantic pace drops away,the transforming power of a wintry spirituality can have effect.

To the outward eye everything looks barren and unsightly.Our many defects,flaws,weaknesses and imperfections stand out in bold relief.

But only the outward virtues have collapsed;the principle of virtue is actually being strengthened.The soul venturing forth into the interior.Real solid,enduring virtues begin to develop deep within.

Pure love is being birthed.

Sometimes this happens when one is at home and a lot more in missions.During these times when you are not in control of things our character comes out and is being molded.It's okey we get angry at things and then God fixes that.

Our vulnerability is exposed so hard to our shock.I thought i was strong what happened Overconfidence and relying on oneself is fixed right then.Thank God for the classical dark nights of the soul.Their is light at the end of the tunnel.

God is so much fixated on who i am and what i become that what i do!

Have a lovely day.

Simon

These are reflections from Richard Fosters book on prayer.